Sometimes your closest friends end up hurting you more then your worst enemies ever could come close to.
I have been going through a little bit of a rough patch regarding a really good friend of mine and I just don't know what to do about it.
I am just tired. Tired of going through the same things, year in and year out. Fighting about the same things all the time and yet it just never changes.
I remember the last conversation we had. It was a three weeks ago, a Saturday in fact, I sms'd him to ask him how he was doing, just "checkin in" and making sure he was okay.. Since then, I haven't heard from him. I guess he has too much going on right now to find out every now and then if I am okay (yeah right). The thing is though, I miss him, he's my best friend...well at least for now he is. But I don't know how long I can keep trying when he is too busy...Too busy to check in and find out if I am okay, too busy too sms or email...too busy to do anything at all. I guess he is too busy keeping the lid on his life so tight that the only person who can get in there is him.
I don't know what's worse, working and trying and not getting anywhere or slowing seeing the end of a friendship unravel as the days go by and realising that unless both of us want this, there is nothing I can do to change that...and that's what hurts me, deep down into my very being, the realization that some relationships in my life just cannot be saved. I guess that is just what life is about. Twists and turns, changes that you cannot control.
For now and until I figure out what to do next, I just need to be strong and focus on the relationships that are working and not on the one's are are not...
Someday my life will make sense... but until then....
All Roads Lead You Back
15 years ago
You can only give so much of you before it's time to sit back and wait for the other person to make the next move.
ReplyDeleteI do hope it all gets resolved though. It's tough to lose any kind of friendship but harder still when it's your best friend.
-Fellow South African SGP-er
Feeling like losing your best friend is one of the hardest things to go through. It is tiring. You feel like you hold on for dear life, and it just strains. My bestfriend is now getting married, and its been hard without him, but I know he will be there for me, and when i do get a chance to see him, Im truly happy and cherish every minute with him, make sure to laugh as much as possible. I never was one to let go, but I've learned there is a two way street now, and I agree with Astrid, its ok to wait for them for a while. It is tough. but I hope everything works out for you!
ReplyDelete"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely." ~ Pam Brown
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're holding up your end of the deal ... I mean, that's all that you can do. It's time for him to step up to the plate. If he can't, then it's his loss.
"I loved my friend.
He went away from me.
There's nothing more to say.
The poem ends soft as it began -
I loved my friend." ~ Langston Hughes
Keep your chin up and try not to dwell on it (although it is hard not to). It doesn't take away from the fact that you're a wonderful person and a great friend Ali ~ remember that!
Smiles (and HUGZ),
Angie